She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
