it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
