I heard we made out
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
