I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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