i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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