I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
BRING THE BAGELS
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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