he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
