Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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