Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Princesses don't give blow jobs
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
