I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
