I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
