she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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