He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
