dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
