I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
