He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
