She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
