i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
