tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
