If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
