About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
