I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He has the fingertips of a God
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
