That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You need a sexual gate keeper
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
