I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
