That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Alive.
So much puke
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
