And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
