it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
