i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
