So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
