Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
