I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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