Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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