used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
my sisters under your porch take her home
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Randomize
