Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
