U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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