um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
