Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
