i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
