Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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