You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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