I'm gonna have a badass scar
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
