I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
