Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
