i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
