i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Randomize
