She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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