oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
