did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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