Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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