I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
