We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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