you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
