i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
