Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
