This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
